The days have come and they have gone. The one thing that has remained has been Your love for me. Through the ups and through the downs, You never left my side. I have cried and I have laughed, but in those hidden struggles in between, You carried me into things yet unseen. You loved me then, how much more now. You have seen my heart and have heard those silent cries; my heart’s desire is just about to arrive. I thank You now as much as I have then. For I know good things are no longer delayed. Here is to something new as I let go of the old.
There is something new coming next year. Something new in my personal life. Something new in my walk with God. Something new in all aspects of my life. I reflect on the days still left and I am so amazed on how fast this year has gone. I remember how this year started and how the months went by. From brokenness to healing, all I can say is: “No one, but God.”
I shared something on Instagram today. Something that I had been feeling for awhile, especially this entire month. This Christmas seemed to be more emotional for me than last year. This year a lot was different. I did not hang up my husband’s stocking… as I felt it was time to let it go and start new. I am letting him go. That was not the only thing that was different this year…
This Christmas started off emotional, but ended blessed.
Guilt set in as I was preparing to spend it with new people in my life. This time my husband’s stocking wasn’t put out. I didn’t know how to feel about that, but I definitely felt his absence again. It was as if reality sank in all over again.
I am beginning to move on with my life and at times it still stings. I take a pause and ask myself, “is this OK?!” I had found myself talking to Freddy and asking him if this or that was OK. As if I still needed his reassurance. At times it feels like I still do… but I am making progress.
🌸What I experienced yesterday was worth more than anything materialistic. Days like yesterday are what matter to me most. It was the greatest gift of “time” spent. Memories were created; things that I will cherish.
I got to spend Christmas day with two special people in my life. I was actually there truly enjoying the moment and thinking how, “this is what I want.” It was special to me. I finally felt a part of their, “world.” It is honestly something that I will cherish.
Take His Place
I know the time is coming when that place in my life will be filled. Things have been moving forward and I am just leaving it all in God’s hands. I trust His guidance and plans for my life. All the little things I am doing, the letting go are making way for the new to come and fall into place.
It’s emotional of course, but I know good things are coming.
I loved him then, I love him now, but soon that love will be transferred completely to the one in my life, giving him is place.
Until then I will continue to walk by faith and continue to see further ahead.
The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.