“If I Begin To Dream Again…”

FREEDOM

Written by:
Stephanie Ann Pequeño
July 14, 2020
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If I begin to dream again will my reality fade away? If I were to wonder far behind what I can see, would my reality fade away?
Day after day, like a deer in the headlights, am I. I am paralyzed by insecurity and chained down my fears. My head remains downcast; a heavy slam to my soul.
If I begin to dream again will my reality fade away? If I were to wonder far behind what I can see, would my reality fade away?
Who have I become, bedsides courage less. Who have I become, besides one who crumbles under pressure?
I have become a warrior who has seen and felt many things and still rises to fight. I have been made strong through the countless moments of weakness & despair. And after enduring the sting of my foolish acts, I have become more wise.
If I begin to dream again will my reality fade away? If I were to wonder far behind what I can see, would my reality fade away?
Yes, now my eyes can see. For it’s always been You with me. The world ahead is ready for me to grasp the wonders of His plan for me. Though I walk through valleys of shadows, and though the reality stays the same, it is no longer my mine to own.
I look onward; no longer a slave.

14 Romantic Rose Photos - Corel Discovery CenterStory Behind The Poem

After so many silent months, I am finally opening up. This poem came to me as a reminder of the freedom that comes when we begin to dream again. So many things have come to my life that have just suppressed those dreams and goals.

It had left me feeling that I no longer have purpose and so desperate for a way out.

These past few months I have been learning to really let go, dealing with things that were hidden.

This poem is a kind of declaration- a reminder that when we stop looking at our reality and on towards dreams, goals, hopes… freedom begins. It’s also determination to finally rise out of the pit of isolation and really live, again. 

The chains will fall. All doubts will fade. Fear will become an unfamiliar friend. 

 

After the hardships, the setbacks, LOSS and heartbreaks… this remains TRUE:

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”- Romans 8:28

 




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No One Is You…

 

22228614_279644075889168_6561842772855785158_nMy darling, if only you knew the power there is in simply being you. I designed you like no other. Open your eyes to see the person you’re meant to be. Deep down inside I know there is a desire to separate yourself from the current of trying to be like someone you’re not. How hindering it is, and how light dimming it can be. What’s inside your heart? Just like the flowers of the orchard are not the same, so are you. Stand on the roof top of this world and shine the light that radiates from within. Hold your head up and walk the in the confidence that you’re enough; that being yourself is enough. -…Heart of Grace

It seems like as I wrote this, like it was directed to me. Lately I have been in a place where I have been doubting myself, because of the mistakes I have made. It seems like every time I make a mistake, I automatically compare myself to someone else; someone who seems to have it all together. I start questioning my own abilities and who I am supposed to be… I start comparing myself to them.

I have learned that comparison is another way of saying, “limitations, limited.” It has happened more than once, that I begin to compare myself, and then try to imitate what others do. I got no where, all I ended up with is unhappiness. Why? Because I wasn’t being who I am. We were created to be different. We were created to stand out from the rest, but in humility. God created us differently for a reason. To do what others cannot do.

We each have been given gifts, talents, ideas, dreams… things that no one else has. So when we start to compare and imitate others, we actually become limited & hindered.-Stephanie 

See, regardless of the mistakes we make, we are still ourselves. The very person no one else can be. Our mistakes do not define us. God’s truth does. 

The poem at the top, I believe is from God’s heart, to everyone. “If only you knew the power there is in simply being you…” In other words, if only you knew the amazing things you could accomplish and so on,  if you only knew and valued the person you really are.

Gifts & Talents

I ask this question in hopes of you remembering the very desire that once got you excited and motivated; What is it that you want to do? What do you feel called to do?

I ask myself the same question. I was reminded of who I am and what I’ve been called to do. It happened two weeks ago. It was during the time when I felt so discouraged and ready to give up on EVERYTHING. I literally mean everything. Because God is so good and so loving, He didn’t let me.

He doesn’t let us walk down a path that will only harm us. He loves us so much that He does His part to make sure we walk in the purpose. We are all meant for something; some are meant to become doctors, while others are meant to be: pastors, artists, bakers, etc. There is no limit as to what you can be, and who you can be.

What are you good at? What have you given up because you’ve compared yourself to others? What has the opinion of others caused you to stop doing? 

 

This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God have you… -2 Timothy 1:6

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. – 1 Corinthians 12: 4-6

 

So that no one can boast or so no one can hinder another, it is all from Him and because of Him. People are not the ones who have given us our gifts and talents, therefore they cannot stop us from doing what we are meant to or be the person we are supposed to be.

Therefore, the opinions of others, the ones that are meant to hinder, are not valid. 

It is not by our works or what we can do, but by Him; the one who sees all things through and who has the power to put into place our very path.- Stephanie

So, I, encourage you to take some time and think about what it is you’re meant to do, who you’re meant to be. Think about the gifts and talents you have and put them into motion. “Fan into flames…” Worry not about who’s around, what they think or say. You’re you and that’s power within itself. ❤

 

Quotes

“Don’t occupy yourself with another person’s assignment; stay focused on your own.” -Max Lucado 

“Imitation, is limitation.”-Joyce Meyer

The Time Is Now

“When change is involved, often times I feel the need to run and hide. A part of me tries to hold on to what I have known, simply rejecting what is unknown to me. Why is it that I become intimidated by the things unknown, when I know for a fact that it is bringing something new, something good? Faith. I say I have it, but when it is needed to embrace change, I push it to the side. Over and over again I have known change to be good to me, not to harm me. It brought me hope. What I have held on to for so long has already ran it’s course. There is a new season upon me, a new time to begin. Afraid I cannot be. I am not alone.” -…Heart Of Grace

There is a new season in my life. One that I know I should be embracing, for I have waited years for a time as this. A time where I must step out of my comfort zone. A time where my life is no longer my own, but a vessel.

Ever feel like you were meant to do something more than what you’re seeing or doing at this very moment? I feel that everyday. I become frustrated because I don’t know where to begin. All I can do is wait for God to lead, to guide while I do my part and prepare.

But what does that look like? I speak to the Father, I study, I write. For it may not seem like enough in my own eyes, but in His it does. I have been planning something, something that has been on my heart for a couple years now. Though I am excited, there’s also a part of me that is scared. From only a dream, it is now becoming reality. I have waited years for this moment, for the moment God would tell me; “You’re ready.” Over and over again I have heard, “It is time.”

I have lifted my hands and said, “Here I am.” All I have ever wanted was to share my story. To share what I have been through and how God helped me through.

Sometimes it still feels like a dream. There’s been moments where I feel as though I am looking around, but through a different set of eyes, like it’s not me. That’s when I become overwhelmed, but I shouldn’t be. For I am not alone.

“What God has called us to do, he will equip us and see it through. He is not a God who shares His heart’s desires with us and leaves us with no instructions. All we must be is, patient.”-Stephanie Ann

There are still so many other things I desire to do. Again, I at times become frustrated because I feel stuck. I want to create things, but don’t know what. I want to write, but I am not sure about what. I overwhelm myself with other things, keeping me distracted from what I am actually supposed to be doing…

“The moment you begin to feel stuck, frustrated or overwhelmed, it’s a sign that you’re doing everything on your own and it’s not the right time, or what you’re meant to be doing. For I have learned; what is of God will fall into place, with little or no work from you.”-Stephanie  

A lot has happened since my post: Changes I have grown, spiritually and emotionally. I have began to see myself as one who can help and lead, rather than one who needs help. (I will always need help, but I have walked into this state of new maturity.) I am learning to stand on my own two feet, rather than constantly leaning on someone else.

What has been difficult for me is the fact that certain people I was once close to are being removed from the path that God is leading me on. The more I try to stay where I want to be, the more things go wrong and I start feeling that tug on my heart.

“Where God is leading you, sometimes certain people cannot follow. Along the way, new people will be placed, to help you, to guide you. Do not try to hold on to what God is trying to remove. For it will always lead something better.”-Stephanie Ann

My calling is my own. Therefore, I must do what needs to be done. I cannot depend on someone else, nor can I wait for things to just, “happen.” There comes a time when God says, “I have done my part, now it’s time for you to do yours.”

“No one else can do what only you have been called to do…”-Stephanie Ann

The time is, now. The person is, you. Get up, leave your fears behind. Embrace the changes that are coming your way. Look ahead to  things anew, letting go of the old. For what is meant to be yours is yours. Nothing or no one can take that away. Walk in love. Walk in truth. Keep your heart humble and you will see greater things.         -…Heart Of Grace

Confirmation For This Season

“Limit Lines”

“We form our own ‘limit line’ by the fears & insecurities we believe, but God is on the other side cheering us on, to take a tiny step of faith over to the other side.”-Stephanie
So many times, my mind flows with great ideas, the excitement comes I become determined. But all of a sudden these thoughts in my head asking me “How will you make it happen? How will you do it,” Cause me to take a step back and look at the “reality.” I then begin to wonder and in my own strength, try to figure out how I will get it done. It just seems so impossible… I  back down,  discourage I become. Another idea lost or just put on hold.
It wasn’t until something clicked inside me and led me to speak these words out loud, “It’s not me who will do it, it’s not me who will figure it out, but God.”
It snapped me out of a lie that had taken root in my mind and leading to my heart. I felt a sense of confidence and relief, because it was true, that truth had lifted up a burden off me trying to figure things out on my own, that weight was the plan of the enemy to keep me stuck. All the fear had been removed.
Nothing is impossible for God, but our minds should be focused on Him and the truth of His word, that we can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us.
I say this to you,  you will overcome. Turn your ears to the voice of God, be attentive to His guidance, and the way you should go will lead you to success and accomplish what you’ve set out to do…

The post above was written over two years ago, May 15, 2015. It is a confirmation for the season I am in right now. It is time… it is time.

There is nothing that will stop me, for I have tapped into who I am in Christ. That’s power. For there is nothing that can stop a Child of God that has figured out who they truly are in Christ. ❤

Just Know

Beautiful one, how I desire for you to know; that you are worth far more than what you can see. For deep down, there is a gem, your heart. Each day I look into it and I can see every desire and every dream that you are afraid to make known, even to me. Just know, you can accomplish what you set out to do, but alone you will not go far. Just know, that I have given you these dreams, for I wish to accompany you on this journey, to take you farther than you can imagine. Just know, my darling, that you’ve been chosen for a time as this. The time is now. Get up and take hold of what has been give to you and know,  my mighty hand is upon you.-…Heart Of Grace ❤

“The mighty hand of God equals; purpose, protection, provision”- Steven Furtick

Me (2)After spending a beautiful weekend in Oregon, surrounded by amazing people for a marriage retreat, I came back home inspired.  Today I woke up with so many ideas in my heart, but not knowing where to begin. I was starting to feel overwhelmed with all these ideas, but all I heard was, “Come to me.” I know that voice. It’s my Heavenly Father wanting to hear all about my ideas, my dreams and visions, even though He already knows. During my walk I began opening my heart to Him and allowing Him into my plans, I began to feel peace. I know He is preparing a way for me.

Many times I’ve began things and never followed through, why? I always tried to do them alone, without God. Of course, when there is something new and exciting that we want to try, the first thing we tend to do is jump right into it, without careful thought and consideration…let alone communication with God. There is no set foundation to those plans.

His will or my will be done?

Today’s poem was inspired by the season I am currently in. A time to set aside my time for Him, to be able to hear from Him as well as Him hear from me. A time to begin planning and doing. I have wasted so much time just “thinking” and not doing, just talking about it and leaving it to “chance.” When it’s God who wants me to get up and start moving. I have been afraid. I have been doubtful, doubting my own capabilities or if it would even work. I was simply doing what I wanted or what I felt.

My mentality changed when I received a powerful revelation… that what God calls us to do, He also equips us to do it. That a desire placed in our hearts, surrendered to God will always fall into place. Period. So my lack of obedience and faith is no longer justified by any kind of insecurity I feel.

“God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.”-Unknown

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.-Romans 8:28-30

Encouragement

We have all been given gifts, talents, dreams, desires and so on. But there is only one person who can ignite and transform them into something amazing, that’s God. The one who gave them to you, and knows just how to use them in your life, for your life and others. Sometimes doubt and insecurity try to sneak their way in our minds, trying to disarm any joy or passion we may have, but know that in Christ you already have the victory.

After battling this for some time I have realized that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, who has called me according to His purpose. Which simply means, that everything I surrender to him will be successful, because He has called me to do it. Same goes for you.

God has said that apart from Him we can do nothing.

Do not be afraid to step out of what is comfortable, for doing so you will see God move in mighty ways. For in the unknown He makes things known. Trust him, entrust all your dreams, desires and visions to Him and see him use them in wonderful ways.

(Blog was inspired by the teachings we received in Oregon, at the Marriage After God retreat by Jennifer Smith from Unveiled Wife & Aaron Smith from Husband Revolution. For it sparked that passion in my own life. I am learning. I still have a ways to go, but God is with me and goes before me. I am not alone. <3)

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.-Deuteronomy 31:7